It’s a bit like a tourist’s view of hell. The waiting rooms and hallways are crowded with dissatisfied people. Who would go into the income tax department if they had no complaints? They hate being there. Plus they know instinctively that they are going to lose their argument, no matter how strong it is. I’ll cheer them up, I thought, during the three hours that I sat in the waiting room. I’ll bring my laptop in here and log into an online casino. It will make the customers happy and relieve the boredom of waiting. Best of all, it will irritate the income tax people who will see tax fee winnings.

The next time I received a call to present myself for an audit, I took laptop with me. I actually felt him squirm in my hands as we walked through the entrance of the income tax building as if to say “what am I doing here? I have nothing to declare! I just follow instructions!”

I chose a bench in the large waiting room marked “Registered Taxpayers”, sat down opened up the laptop with a big sigh to get a little attention and then logged into “The Silver Spider”, my favorite online casino. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a couple of men moving closer to see what was going on. I turned up the volume and started playing a noisy slots game, one that grinds and clicks and rings a fire bell every time you win even one coin.

Within minutes there was a three deep circle of spectators craning to watch the action in the online casino. Then it happened. The fire alarm bell went off. I had hit a jackpot. A roar went up from the crowd. It was followed by a deadly silence as a path opened to let the chief tax assessor walk through. He stood looking at the laptop and then at me. “Yours?” he asked. I nodded dumbly, wondering what the tax rate was for online gambling winnings. “Come inside, please. You must teach me how to do that!”

Posted on: July 25, 2007

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