No parties for me at this time of the year. I have made my New Year resolutions and I am concentrating on making them all come true. They go like this:
o Quit smoking.
o Quit drinking.
o Win a major jackpot.
o Quit working.
None of these tasks is beyond me except number 3 and that’s the one I’m working on, the others will fall into place on their own as soon as I change my lifestyle. So I am spending this entire week in the online casino, banging away at the progressive slots machine and trying to line up four very slippery symbols and set the bell clanging like it has never clanged before.

The slot machine looks like any other, lots of chrome and flashing lights. The slot is perfectly normal, just like any other, no longer and no wider. So what makes it so difficult to hit the jackpot on this slot machine? It is linked to many other slot machines around town and maybe even in other towns, an easy feat to accomplish in this electronic age. The definition of the word ‘many’ is probably hundreds and maybe even thousands of other slot machines and it goes like this: every time someone drops a coin in the slot of one of these slot machines the progressive jackpot goes up by the full amount of that coin or by a percentage of it. It doesn’t matter, guys, whether it is one hundred or sixty percent, the progressive jackpot that I am chasing is over 3 million dollars, quite enough for me to carry out New Year’s resolution number 4 and buy the white yacht that I have been eyeing from the other side of the marina.

As for the symbols on the slot machine reels, they seem to be well greased, always refusing to line up by the odd millimeter. My supply of coins seems to be greased as well, slipping into the slot with the greatest of ease and at the most alarming rate. Well, if it’s not going to be this year, it’ll be the next.

Posted on: December 31, 2007

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