It’s like this, Sid. Because of all the financial chaos around you, you need to unwind and then to stay in relaxed mode. There is only one way to achieve this and that is to start by playing slots in an online casino. We recommend that you log into an online casino as soon as you read this, select a three reel slot machine to start with and start playing, slowly and carefully. After an hour or so, when you are feeling nice and relaxed and have stopped fretting over your job, move onto to a multi-line 5-reel slot machine. Play here for an hour.

By now you should have forgotten about your stock exchange losses and are ready to start accumulating capital. Move to the roulette table in the online casino and watch the action for a few minutes until you feel you understand everything. Buy some small chips - nothing over $5 - and start playing. Place one chip in the ‘Even’ number box, another in the ‘Red’ box and another in the ‘Third 12’ box and wait for the spin. One of these numbers will come up: 30, 32, 34 or 36. Collect your $30 winnings and miss a few turns until your breathing is normal.

Place all the money you have won on your birthday number and wait for the spin. There is your number. Do not touch the $1,000 you have won. Leave it on your birthday and spin again. Good man, you have now won $35,000. Pick up all your winnings, log out of the online casino and take a cold beer from the refrigerator. Drink it slowly while resting on your front porch where the neighbors can see how relaxed and calm you are.

You see that all is not lost, Sid. We can repeat this little exercise every day until you get back to normal. You should start looking around for a new house; prices are down at rock-bottom now. A job may take a little longer but that means you will have more time to play in the online casino. Oh yes, your stock portfolio has gone forever.

Posted on: November 11, 2008

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