I was the one that started this gardening craze all those years ago. I must have color in my life, I used to say and the entire family took this to mean that they must plant a great colorful garden. And so it is. It is quite beautiful, sparkling flowers set in green lawns surrounded by graceful trees and bright creepers. It’s a delight living here. But it also involves a great deal of work, which ranges from routine to hard physical. I’m way past that. At my age hard work is clicking a mouse in an online casino.

I bring the laptop out and log into the online casino just as the petrol-engine driven lawnmower comes past making an awful racket. I can never figure out why they don’t put silencers on those things. What about the neighbors? I play slots for a while to warm up my stiff fingers and get my blood flowing. After a few games I switch to video poker, it not quite as brainless as the slots. I like playing the Jacks and Better game and it lets me make some of the decisions. Of course I immediately make a few bad ones but then I settle down and things get serious. I take a long shot and hold four cards in a flush and pray for the fifth. This usually never works for me. In fact I can safely say that it has never worked. I draw one card and sure enough it’s the nine of spades, the winning card. This happens just as the lawnmower completes another circuit and the noise drowns out my whoops of delight.

Well, I rush out into the center of the lawn and yell for quiet. When all gardening activity is finally focused on me, I explain gently about my sneaking off to play at an online casino while they are all busting themselves gardening. They look pretty disappointed with their old man. Then I explain about the flush I just had and finally I announce the size of the jackpot I just won. They love me more than ever!

Posted on: November 30, 2007

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