I decided to ignore the kitchen as far as I could without ending up in the divorce court and turned up the volume of my stereo another 3 notches. I fired up my laptop and logged in at the Silver Spanner, my favorite online casino. I started by playing a few hands of Texas Hold’em to bring my sleepy brain up to speed. The cards for the first hand gave me an Ace and a 5, and as I smiled to myself when the flop showed an Ace, 3 and queen. A pair of Aces with two cards still to come, it’s looking good. I raised my bet and waited for the turn. A 5! I now have 2 pairs. A frantic yell from the kitchen tore me away from the screen and I raced down the passage. “There are no beers! Go and buy right now!”

“But… but…” I stammer. “Now! You know how my brothers like to drink beer. Buy a case!” Sitting in the traffic on the way to the liquor store I wondered what the outcome of that hand of Texas Hold’em was. Back at the house an hour later, I log in at the online casino again and go straight to the roulette table. I play small chips, one ear tuned to the kitchen for another crisis but so far, all is quiet. I change to $50 chips and begin playing in earnest. Things go well and I hit a winning streak of five consecutive spins, playing lines, columns and sets of 4. I am on a roll. I can’t go wrong. I switch to single numbers, using family birthdays to guide me. The yell from the kitchen comes as I go for the big fish and am about to drop a $100 chip on my own birthday, 23. My hand twitches and the chip falls on 22 instead. As I race off to the kitchen I look back and see the ball dropping into number 23. $3,500 down the drain! “Yes, darling, did you call me?”

Posted on: June 2, 2008

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