Absolutely, an online casino! I check into the Golden Goose to see how my credits are standing. Forty three bucks! That won’t even make a dent in my income tax overdraft. But it’s enough to do a little online gambling to cheer me up. Income tax can just wait in the meantime, or until I can rob a bank. So now that I’m inside the online casino pacing up and down impatiently, I look around. Where shall I spend my paltry stake? First I will put twenty five dollars on my birthday on the roulette. That’s twenty-five on number twenty three. I hold my breath and sure enough it comes up. I now have about nine hundred dollars.

I stay at the roulette table and put sixty dollars on the last two numbers of my ID. Seventeen. I do the breath-holding trick again. This always seem to work much better in an online casino that in a real one. Sure enough, the little ivory ball falls into the 17 pocket. Two thousand one hundred beautiful dollars. Looks as though income tax may be settled after all. I move to the blackjack and rake in a cool five hundred and then for the finale I cross to the craps table where I quickly convert one hundred into two thousand dollars. I think I may even give up my job if this continues. Well, I will keep playing until I have enough to pay for that green Jag I saw in the showroom the other day.

Online gambling is easy. It’s a matter of deep concentration, strong willpower and the ability to hold one’s breath indefinitely. I am fairly successful at it and am thinking of writing a user’s guide to making money in online casinos. In fact, as soon as I’ve got income tax off my back I will settle down and do something really serious about the online gambling.

Posted on: May 3, 2007

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